REFLECTION:

"Killjoys, misfits, trouble-makers, wilful wanderers and woeful warriors: we fight for room to be as we wish; we wish for a room in which we did not have to fight to be."

I picked out this quote from Ahmed's blog “Feminist at Work”, published in January 2020. It’s the lecture that Ahmed gave at the University of Malmo "Feminist at Work: Complaint, Diversity, Institutions", back in October 2019. it is a reflection of Ahmed's work and experience as a diversity worker within her university and how it sets an example of how institutional power works.

Ahmed focuses her research on opening up institutions and analyses the kind of issues obstacles and frustration come in the process of going against a system that doesn't count you as a part of it, that it was not meant for you. She explains how her diversity work within an institution is fundamental but also stressful and problematic. She starts from her own experiences and shares many more.

The text made me reflect on how much I like to think the I live in a diverse and inclusive environment, but actually things are problematic have been problematic.
I’ve witnessed situations like Sara Ahmed explains in her lecture. I think of the struggle that certain of my schoolmates have gone through because of the structural system that excluded them, and the trauma that has caused them as young adults.
I think about my position as a queer-cis woman and how I am being perceived and how my experience is different from others.
I try to imagine who is in more of a disadvantaged position than me, that systems have been built to leave them outside completely and the list of struggles and unfairness they experience every day.

Ahmed’s lecture introduced me to “The Work of Complaint”. To complain is what means to be a killjoy, that’s why the act of complaint is seeing as some agitation that might cause problems, so often institutions try to quite it down and let everything sink because of damage to the image, or trouble that might cause to the management.
I think about how many times I didn’t complain at work, school, or on the street, because I felt threatened or discouraged by others by doing so, but when and is the right time/reason to complain? And how do we complain? What are the tools that we have to be sure that we are heard?
It was shocking to hear that Ahmed resigned at her position at Goldsmith because tired of the unheard complaints about sexual harassment that was going around the campus.
She used the graveyard as an image to refer to the lost complaints. It is a quite sad image that she presented, because it doesn’t resemble a battle being lost, but also bodies being crushed and excluded.
Perception can be a door and a body can announce a complaint. Ahmed explains how you are perceived as being can stop you from progressing: Behind closed doors is where you find who embodies diversity.

To go back to the initial quote, it feels like a call to take action and to engage. In the final part of her lecture, Ahmed stresses the idea that a complaint can be heard if announced collectively, and that we are collectively sharing the same troubles, as long as we have the courage to be killjoys.